the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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