and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
