it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
