Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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