I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
