I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
