Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
