There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
