I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize