I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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