I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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