Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize