I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize