My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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