well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
