just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
