Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
