you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
