im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
