You really coming over, don't trick.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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