We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
