so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize