she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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