You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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