We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
