And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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