I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
