3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
