Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
