he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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