He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
