3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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