White coat. Heels.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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