The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
