By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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