hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
