Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
