problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
