I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize