We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
