The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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