Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
