3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize