Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
there's paper in my vomit.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
