Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just had sex on a roof
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
