I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
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you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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