i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
