My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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