maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
