He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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