No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
