Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
