Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize